When you're gone
by ShadowOfTheDay818
Summary: Wanda got captured by the seekers and Ian, Melanie and Jared have to leave her. Wanda loses her memory and doesn't know who she is. How will she react when she sees Ian again and how will the humans survive without sweet,caring Wanda?
1. Chapter 1

**When you're gone.**

Preface

Where are you? Where are you? I keep asking myself the same thing but I can't seem to find the answer. I miss the way you smile, the way you hide your pretty face when you blush… I just miss you.

_Why do we alwa__ys lose that one person we can't live without?_

**So, this is the Prologue. I hope you like it. Please leave a comment if you like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**When you're gone (The host version)**

Chapter 1

**Wanda's pov**

I see the pain in his eyes when the seekers surround me. What am I supposed to do? Scream? Fight? Run? No, it won't work. I can't keep running away. I have failed.

_I'm so sorry Ian, please forgive me. _

I smell something and then I fall.

_I love you, Ian._

**Ian's pov**

Melanie is crying for more than an hour now. Jared is just driving the car and holding her hand. I wish I could hold Wanda's tiny hand. I'm just sitting here, it feels like I'm frozen. I lost her, my everything, my Wanda. She promised me that we would stay together and now she's gone… We have to do something, we have to save her.

"Jared, stop the car. We have to go back."

"No Ian, I'm sorry but I can't. It's not save." It now feels as if someone ripped my heart out.

"We have to save her." My voice fills with anger.

"Ian, we don't know where she is and the seekers are everywhere now." Suddenly Melanie stops crying and looks at me.

"I want to save her too, Ian. But Jared is right, we don't know where we should look."

I know that Melanie loves her too, but it's nothing compared to my love and devotion for her.

When we reached the cave, I got out the car and started running towards my –our- room. Some people looked strangely at me, but they didn't stop me. When I'm in the room, I fall on my knees and do what I want to do the most. I start crying. Everything in the room reminds me of her. The burning pain in my chest hurts so much. Where are you, Wanda?

**Melanie's pov**

I hate myself. How could we just leave her there? Ian is right, we should go back. But now it's too late. She's gone. The seekers found her and now they're probably hurting her. I start crying when I think of Wanda being hurt. No, she doesn't deserve that. She's so sweet and kind. This isn't fair. I miss her so much, I miss my sister. I turn my head and look at Jared. He looks… worried. I know he cares about Wanda too. Oh no, I haven't told Jamie yet. He will be so sad. Wanda is like a sister to him, he loves her just like me. And Ian.. Ian is broken. Wanda is his true love and he lost her. We have to do something!

I have to find Jamie, I have to tell him.

I start looking for him and after a few minutes I find him.

When he sees me, he smiles and hugs me. "I missed you so much, Mel." His words make me cry again. Omg, when will these tears stop spilling.

"Mel, what's wrong?" I shake my head and try to wipe away my tears.

"Where's Jared?" he asks with a worried voice.

"In our room."

"Where's Wanda?" I have to tell him, he deserves to know the truth.

"Jamie.." I say, holding his hands.

"Wanda is gone."

**Jamie's pov**

"Wanda is gone." What?

"That's not funny, Mel." I say trying to sound confident.

"It's not a joke, Jamie. The seekers found her and took her away." The serious and pained look in her eyes tells me that she's telling the truth. I can't believe it.

"Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you save her?"

"We've tried, Jamie. But the seekers were everywhere. We just couldn't help her."

I shake my head and let go of her strong hands. I can't lose Wanda, she's like a sister to me.

**So, this was it. The first chapter! If you like it, than please leave a review.**

**I'm sorry that it's so short, the next chapter will be longer.**


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 2

**Wanda's pov**

_My memories are gone, but the love I feel for you could never disappear._

I'm awake. Those are the first words I can think of. Who am I? Where am I? I try to find something in my memories, but I can't remember a thing. What is going on? Am I dead? After a few silent minutes I decide to open my eyes. A few pair of eyes are staring at me when I open my eyes. Some look nervous, and others look irritated. There are five persons standing in front of the bed I'm lying in. The room is big and the walls are painted in a color they call 'yellow'. The figures are still watching me patiently. One of them takes a step forward. "Welcome back, Pet." Pet? Does he mean me? Is that my name? It doesn't feel right, that name.

"Am I pet?" I whisper.

"Yes, you are" he says with a nod.

"Why can't I remember anything? Am I dead?" they all look strangely at me and then they burst into laughter.

"No, you're not dead. We gave you something so you would forget everything that happened to you."

"Why?" Why would they do something like that?

"Well, a few humans kidnapped you a while ago and they used you for certain things. I'm sorry but we didn't want you to remember all that pain. We're very happy that we found you a few days ago."

My mouth falls open from shock when I hear that. Humans? They kidnapped me, but they didn't kill me. The man who was speaking before interrupts my silent thinking.

"Your memories are not really gone, you know. They're just pushed into a corner of your mind. It's possible that you will be able to remember everything after a while."

I nod and lower my head to hide away my pain. The souls are very nice, but they don't seem familiar to me. I don't think I really belong here.

"Your mother will be happy when she sees you're finally awake."

"My mother?" I frown my eyebrows and look straight into his eyes.

"Yes. It's not really a surprise that you forgot about her too." Just when he said that someone bursts in the room and runs towards me. The woman wraps me in her arms and starts sobbing. I try to calm her but it doesn't really work. I wish someone tried to comfort me.

"Pet, I'm so… happy that your back… home where you belong." She says between sobs.

"Uh…thanks." Someone coughs and my mother (?) stands up. She wipes away the tears and start thanking everyone for their help.

"Well, we have to go. Call if you need us." And then they're gone. I sigh and hide my face in my hands. This is all so confusing. I want my memory back. I feel.. frustrated.

My mother comes back and sits on my bed, stroking my hair.

"I'm so sorry, honey." The woman sounds broken and I realize that she must have been terrified these last couple of months.

"can you tell me more about what happened?" I murmur after a little while.

"Sure. Well, it all started that night when you went to a club with your friends. You never came back that night or the next morning so I called all your friends and they didn't know where you were too. Then I called the seekers and asked them to go looking for you. I also searched everywhere, but nobody found you." She sighs before she starts talking again.

"They gave up the search after a few weeks. It was terrible. I was so worried. I just never gave up the hope that we would find you again one day. And then, a few days ago, the seekers appeared at my door and they told me they found you." A few tears appeared in her eyes when she was telling me this.

"I missed you so much, Pet." What do I say now? That I missed her too? I don't even know her and I certainly don't know if I missed her.

"I missed you too, mom." I say after a while. She smiles at me and gets up.

"Just go back to sleep. You must be really tired." I thank her and then she walks away.

Without noticing, I start crying. When my tears stop spilling, I float to my own world of dreams. That world where everything is possible.

After a few days, I had to go back to school again. Apparently, I'm 17 and I'm in my last year of school. When I entered the school building, everyone ran to me and started embracing me. It was scary. They told me that I was a cheerleader and girlfriend of the most popular guy in school. I believe his name is Stephen. He kept the name of his body. Luckily I didn't see him my first day, I don't think I could have dealt with that. A few girls, who claim to be my friends, were just following me around all day. I don't think I could get used to that. I was glad to be home again that evening.

"Mom, I'm home." No answer. Mother would normally be home at this hour. I shrug and walk to the kitchen to get something to eat. Just when I open the refrigerator, I hear the doorbell.

I deeply breathe in and out before I open the door.

"Hello, Pet." The guy standing in front of me says. My heart starts beating really fast when I look at him.

"Stephen?" I whisper quietly. He nods and wraps his arms around me.

"You don't know how much I missed you." I can hear the hurt in his voice. Wow, he must really like me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to see you…" my voice keeps getting softer. There is something about this boy that makes me go nervous. Am I in love with him? Why is everything so confusing?

"If I ever find that humans who hurt you…" This was the first time I heard a soul speak bad about someone. This anger doesn't really fit with the his soft voice.

"It's okay…" I start saying, but he interrupts me.

"It's not okay, Pet. I lost you and now you can't even remember me."

"I'm sorry, Stephen. I'm really trying…"

"I know, baby. I know." He kisses my forehead and sighs.

I'm pushing everything in my head, just to find a memory of him, but it doesn't work. It's horrible. I hate this. I want to know him, I want to know my mother and my friends.

"I'm just afraid. I'm scared that I won't remember you and that I will lose you." I admit to him and a little blush colors my cheeks. He smiles and his arms tighten around me.

"We will work it out, Pet. I love you." And I relax in his arms. I know he's speaking the truth. We will work this out. Together.

**So, this was the second chapter. What do you think of the new character, Stephen?**

**The next chapter will probably be in Ian's pov, but I'm not sure. I will post the next chapter tonight or next week, because I have exams.**

**So, if you want me to go on, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry, but it's a short chapter. I promise that next chapter will be longer. If you want me to go on, than please review.**

**Ian's pov**

_To see a world in a grain of sand  
and heaven in a wild flower,  
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand  
and eternity in an hour."_

The pain in my chest –my heart- didn't go away. It never left me. Sleeping wasn't an escape, cause in my dreams I could see everything happen again. My dreams turned into nightmares and I could feel the hurt again. It's been a week and I haven't spoken to anyone after that day. I only left my room to go to the bathroom and eat something small. I probably lost weight, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters without my Wanda. The others had tried to talk to me, but I didn't respond. Suddenly I hear someone in front of my door and someone enters my room. Kyle.

"Bloody Hell, Ian. When will you finally act normal?" I scowl at him and put my head between my hands without saying anything. Kyle sighs and walks toward me.

"I know you love her and you miss her, but sitting here won't bring her back." I know he's right, but this awful pain makes it impossible to get up and do something normal.

"You don't understand, Kyle." Wow, my voice sounds weird. Kyles mouth opens in surprise and I can see he didn't expect this.

"I lost Jodi, Jared lost Melanie, but we didn't cry. We stayed strong and that's exactly what you should do." I shake my head and glare at him.

'You've got Sunny and Jared got his Melanie back."

"Yes, but we've been alone for a while, Ian. I still miss Jodi and I will never see her again. But I will never give up. Do you really love her, Ian?"

"Of course, I love her more than anything else in this world." I'm almost screaming this, how could he doubt my love for Wanda?

"Than fight for her."

**Stephens pov**

I'm so happy she's back. I can't believe it, after all those horrible months. She's finally back where she belongs. In my arms.

"We will work it out, Pet. I love you." I feel her relax in my arms. I honestly hope she remembers me soon. She sounds confused and I can understand that. This must be so difficult for her, forgetting everything that's important for you. I hate the humans who did this to her. I never felt so angry before. Still, it's nothing compared to the pain I felt when she was gone. Nothing could ever compare to that pain. Nothing.

"I'm so sorry, Stephen…" Why does she keep saying that, it's not her fault.

"You don't have to apologize, silly." She sighs and looks me in the eyes.

"I missed you so much, Pet. Never leave me again." I kiss her temple and rub her cheek.

"I won't. I promise." And I look one more time at her before I wrap my arms around her tiny body.

**Jamie's pov**

Everything had changed. The awful silence in the caves makes it difficult for everyone. Even Jeb doesn't smile anymore. I know he cares about Wanda and he doesn't to lose her just like everyone else. Melanie looks so worried and Ian doesn't leave his room. I can't even imagine how much pain he had right now. I know he loves her, just like Jared loves Melanie. I miss her so much, she's like a sister to me. Why haven't they go look for her? Why? We have to do something. Without her, it will never be the same.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sorry guys, this chapter isn't so long either but I promise that the next chapters will be longer. And I'm truly sorry that my english isn't so good. Please review if you like my story. :)**_

_Words left unspoken, lost somewhere in time  
Visions of yesterday remain in my mind  
Silently I cry, for my thoughts I must hide  
years gone by, feelings denied  
Why must love end with such pain and sorrow  
For the love that we shared was filled  
with hope and dreams of tomorrow  
How can we destroy the lives that we touch  
and continue to say, that "I love you so much"  
Could it be that with love  
we create our "Hell"  
breaking the hearts of those that we tell  
For the love you are given, a price you must pay  
you will be broken, your love thrown away_

**Wanda's pov**

"I missed you so much, Pet. Never leave me again." He kisses my temple and rubs my cheek. His words make me feel strange. I like him, but do I love him? Is he really my partner?

"I won't. I promise." I feel bad for making a promise that I'm not sure I will be able to keep. I will try to keep that promise, I will keep fighting till' the end.

The next day I walked next to Stephen. He offered to walk with me to school and I accepted that offer, of course. He held my hand while he was talking to me. I sometimes nodded and that was enough for him. I don't know why, but it felt like I was betraying someone. Would it be possible that I'm in love with someone else? But who would it be? If it's not Stephen, than it almost have to be one of the humans who kidnapped me. Could I love someone who treated me like that, could I love a human? It seems impossible if I think about it. Humans and souls have been in a war for so long, they would never get along and never ever be in love with each other. I shake my head to forget about the humans. I don't want to think about them when I'm holding the hand of a soul. Stephen. I sighed and he looked curiously at me. He probably thinks I'm some kind of freak. I shrugged and he scowled before he started talking again.

When we reached the school, I let go of his hand and kissed his cheek. I know he wants to kiss me on the lips, but I don't think I'm ready for that. He still feels like a stranger to me. I want to know him more before I can do such a thing. And it would even be worse if I kissed him when I don't have feelings for him. That wouldn't be fair. He deserves a girlfriend who really loves him, even if everyone thinks I'm still his girlfriend, still his Pet. I honestly don't know if I'm still the same soul. Everything feels so weird, so non-familiar. It feels like this isn't my world, like I don't belong here. But where do I belong than? This would be so much easier if I still had my memories. I would be able to love Stephen like I did before. I would be able to love him, without feeling guilty.

I heard a little knock and realized that I was in my room. Wow, I have to stop losing myself in dreams. "Yes." I said a little bit surprised. What would mother want to say to me? It's now been two weeks since I'm back and she normally doesn't disturb me when I'm in my room. The door of my room went open and one of my friends walked in. Alexandra, who also kept the name of her body, was now standing in my room. What would she want from me?

"Hi Pet." She said after a short but comfortable silence. She walked towards me and decided to sit next to me.

"Hey Alex." She smiled at me, but I couldn't help noticing that she looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" I whispered. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I really missed you, Pet. You're still my best friend. But.." She stopped talking for a little while and I was getting curious.

"But…?"

"It feels like you've changed. I don't know you anymore and it scares me." I had to know that she would notice if I was acting different. She's very observant.

"Why?" Her eyes shot back open me and she looked like she didn't understand my question.

"Why does it scare you?" I smiled at her, so she should feel more comfortable.

" I guess I'm just afraid of losing you. " Her voice filled with agony and it made me feel sad cause I knew that she was a sweet soul and I didn't deserve a friend like her. I also didn't deserve her because I knew that I couldn't promise her that she won't lose me. It was different when I promised Stephen. I just really wanted to make him happy and I didn't want to hurt him. But Alexandra… Shouldn't I be a better friend if I just told her the truth?

"I feel like I don't know myself anymore." She nodded and wrapped her long arms around me. "You won't lose yourself, Pet." And I believed her, I knew that I wouldn't lose myself. I would never lose the real me. But who is the real me?

**Ian's pov**

Why does my heart cry? Why am I feeling these horrible feelings I can't hide? Why does nobody see what's behind my blue eyes? The questions were making me go crazy, but it was nothing compared to the pain. The pain that was tearing me apart. But I had to stay strong, I had to keep believing in my dreams. I had to do something to hide how much this really hurts me. It has been two weeks and everyone was losing hope. They had been on a raid to go search for Wanda, but they haven't found her. To watch them come back without my love, it was even more painful. It felt like my chest was burning again. After that, I was just wandering around the caves, looking for something to do.

**Stephens pov**

She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I always feel awful when she's gone. I guess I'm just afraid of losing her. It would be a nightmare if she would walk out of my life again and disappear for a while. A day without her feels like a day I haven't lived. When she was gone, I was a wreck. And then she appeared back in to my life and it was like those last months were just a bad dream. An unimportant, but unforgettable dream. I will kill those humans if they'll ever come near my Pet again. I would do everything to hold her forever. That's my dream, to be forever with the one I love.

**Jareds pov**

Numb. That was the only word I could use to describe my feelings. We all lost our little 'angel'- she hated it when we called her like that- and there was nothing we could do. We looked everywhere for her, but it was useless. It didn't hurt like it did when I lost Melanie, but I knew that loosing Wanda was bad. I loved her as a friend, a very good friend. Mel hasn't smiled since that horrible day. Maybe if we were able to find the address of Pet's mother. Maybe they brought Wanda there….


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer : I don't own the host.**

**Wanda's pov**

_I was just sitting with a guy staring at the beautiful moon, when suddenly he turned to look at me. I couldn't see his face because of the shadow, but I did notice that his jaw was locked. Run! My mind was telling me that I had to get the hell away, but I couldn't find my legs and I certainly couldn't move them. It felt like I was frozen, while the strange man kept staring at me. I tried to hide my face, but that seemed to make him even angrier. After an awkward silence he stood up and he started to yell at me. His voice sounded so cold and filled with hatred, that I shivered. Who was this man? He was so much taller than me and he had very much muscles. He could probably knock me out with one hit._

"_You left me!" I stared at him in confusion and frowned. He started taking steps backwards, but his eyes never left mine._

"_I hate you!" Once again, I shivered and I felt like I was freezing. _

_The light of that same moon we were looking at a while ago showed me the face of this stranger. His face looked familiar, but I couldn't remember him. He was so handsome, and yet so strange. _

_I gasped when I noticed that his eyes weren't silver like mine, but a vivid blue…._

I woke up screaming. My cheeks were wet because of all the tears that had fallen and the clock told me that it was four in the morning. I cried into my hands, burying my face in my pillow and trying to block every last thought out of my mind. I continued to cry for everything, every thought until I my eyes closed and I fell asleep again.

What I didn't know was that that nightmare was only the beginning. The face and cold voice of the handsome stranger would never leave my mind.

"Pet, are you okay?" Stephen looked at me with worried eyes and waved his large hand in front of my face. I nodded and he smiled lovingly at me. I probably zoned out again, thinking of that man. How could I feel attracted to a human who obviously hates me? Was he one of the humans who kidnapped me? I shook my head to forget about the humans. Stephen looked funny at me and kissed my forehead. We were listening in my room to a new CD he bought for me. The CD was filled with songs played by someone on a piano. I closed my eyes and listened to the beautiful music. When the song ended with his final chord, I brushed the tears away and looked in the smiling face of my boyfriend. Sigh. My boyfriend who I can't remember. Stephen was always so worried about me.

Hell, he even worried me with his worry.

I think I love him, but he's way to protective. He's right about the fact that my body is weak, but that doesn't mean that I can't defend myself. Okay, I know that I got kidnapped by a couple of crazy humans who used me, but it's not like it will happen again. My thoughts were disturbed by Stephens thumb tracing my cheek and my lips. He stared innocently at me, but I noticed the desire in his eyes. He wanted to kiss me. Was I ready for that? Ah, what the hell…

I pushed my arguments away and leaned forward. We were both sitting on my little bed. There was only a little room between our lips. His eyes left mine to look at my lips. "Kiss me." I whispered and he nodded. I closed my eyes for a moment, before opening them to see the shadows across his face fade slowly as he leaned down, whispering my name when his lips were in inches of mine. Without another warning, I felt something soft and warm on my lips and noticed that it were Stephen's lips. I closed my eyes and let my body take over. I wrapped my little arms around his neck and pulled his closer to mine. He was still acting very careful. I pressed my lips to his more forcefully, entirely participating in the kiss. Our mouths moved together, pushing and pressing, tasting and exploring. After a while, he pulled away so we could both take a breath. I liked kissing Stephen, but I didn't feel the electricity or the firework. I also didn't hear the angels singing and the worst part was that I wished I was kissing someone else. In my mind, I imagined kissing that stranger of my dreams. And that was what scared me the most.

Stephen wrapped his arms around me and I lay back in his embrace so he couldn't see the tears in my eyes. I pressed my ear to his chest, closing my eyes and feeling myself doze off at the soft sound of his heartbeat. I was in Stephen's arms, where I wanted to be. I was home.

_Here we are again. But this time I was standing in front of him. The difference in height made me feel uncertain again. I really hope he doesn't hit me. His words already hurt me enough. I don't even know why I care so much. I mean, it's not that I like love him or something like that. His face was again hidden by shadows, but it was obvious that he wasn't a soul. I never saw a soul who looked so furious, so outraged, so scary. I could feel my feet and legs, but this time I didn't want to move. I wanted to know why this man hates me so much. I wanted to know why he kept disturbing my sweet dreams and turned them into a nightmare. "You left me!" He always said the same. "Who are you? What do you want from me?" I yelled at him, but he just started laughing. I couldn't hear humor in his laugh. It sounded mean, it sounded dark. It made me shiver, again. _

_He chuckled when he saw that I was afraid and he started walking towards me with a sort of determination in his dark eyes. _

I woke up screaming again while my cheeks were covered in tears, just like all the other nights.

**Okay, so I know that it's been a while and I'm very sorry. I've just been very busy with exams and other things.**

**I promise I will write more often and that I will write longer chapters.**

**So, please leave a review and tell me some titles of stories you like.**

**Thank you for reading my story and thanks if you already left a review! :)**


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